Most people are hungry for affirmation. They are starving for a word of kindness, a compliment, or praise for a job well done. When was the last time someone looked you in the eye and affirmed you for a good decision, a positive effort, a skill or strength used effectively?
We live in a culture that is so quick to criticize, condemn, and put us down. Social media makes it simpler for someone to leave a negative comment without even thinking about who will be hurt. We can feel sabatoged by family, co-workers and even strangers.
We live in a culture that is so quick to criticize, condemn, and put us down. Social media makes it simpler for someone to leave a negative comment without even thinking about who will be hurt. We can feel sabatoged by family, co-workers and even strangers.
As a therapist (counselor) working primarily with children and teens, I see firsthand the effects that criticism and negativity have on self-esteem, confidence and success. I witness the debilitating power of rejection. I see the pain, frustration, hopelessness in the eyes of those who rarely get a compliment or feel that someone is in their corner. Self destructive or angry behaviors are often a cry to be seen, heard, and valued.
In this setting, I am blessed to witness the transforming power of affirmation. Like a wilting flower reaching for the rain, or a hungry kitten lapping up a bowl of milk, I experience the eagerness of a wounded soul soaking in words of kindness and respect. I see the shift in expression of one who is praised for courage, insights, strengths and effort and watch as they grow a bit stronger and more hopeful.
There have been periods in my own life when words of criticism were plentiful and I doubted my own self-worth and value. I believed I was not “enough”, was always screwing up, falling short and a disappointment. Words of criticism cut into my spirit like a knife and robbed me of confidence and joy. In those seasons, I was grateful for a few close friends who spoke life to me, challenged me to love and accept myself and were willing to affirm my value.
In this setting, I am blessed to witness the transforming power of affirmation. Like a wilting flower reaching for the rain, or a hungry kitten lapping up a bowl of milk, I experience the eagerness of a wounded soul soaking in words of kindness and respect. I see the shift in expression of one who is praised for courage, insights, strengths and effort and watch as they grow a bit stronger and more hopeful.
There have been periods in my own life when words of criticism were plentiful and I doubted my own self-worth and value. I believed I was not “enough”, was always screwing up, falling short and a disappointment. Words of criticism cut into my spirit like a knife and robbed me of confidence and joy. In those seasons, I was grateful for a few close friends who spoke life to me, challenged me to love and accept myself and were willing to affirm my value.
We all have the choice to give the gift of affirmation to another. When was the last time you looked your husband or wife in the eye and sincerely shared what you appreciate about them? Make this a daily habit and not only will your spouse begin to enjoy your company and appreciate your kindness, but your own perspective will shift as you look for and focus on the blessings and beautiful instead of the small annoyances.
How many times a day do you catch your child doing something good, kind, or generous and encourage the very behavior that you would love to see continue? I encourage you to look them in the eye, give them your undivided attention (without looking at your cell phone) and really listen to them, showing an interest in what is important to them. When my kids were young, I felt inspired to start a journal for each of them. I would write a letter to them at least once a year and tell them what I most appreciated about them as a person and what having them in my life meant to me. I would mention their talents and special interests, their character strengths and what I loved about them. As adults, I gave them these journals and I believe they treasure them.
When was the last time you gave a coworker a compliment or pointed out the strengths that you admire? Studies show that people will work harder for praise and acceptance then they will for anything else, including money.
Speak life! Send a ripple of affirmation into your family, community, and the world. Our words have the power to ignite passion, build bridges and encourage creativity. Speak life in person, on social media and when you look in the mirror.
How many times a day do you catch your child doing something good, kind, or generous and encourage the very behavior that you would love to see continue? I encourage you to look them in the eye, give them your undivided attention (without looking at your cell phone) and really listen to them, showing an interest in what is important to them. When my kids were young, I felt inspired to start a journal for each of them. I would write a letter to them at least once a year and tell them what I most appreciated about them as a person and what having them in my life meant to me. I would mention their talents and special interests, their character strengths and what I loved about them. As adults, I gave them these journals and I believe they treasure them.
When was the last time you gave a coworker a compliment or pointed out the strengths that you admire? Studies show that people will work harder for praise and acceptance then they will for anything else, including money.
Speak life! Send a ripple of affirmation into your family, community, and the world. Our words have the power to ignite passion, build bridges and encourage creativity. Speak life in person, on social media and when you look in the mirror.
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