I am divorced. There, I said it. It causes me sadness and discomfort just to verbalize it. I hate using terms like "ex husband" and often feel hesitant in knowing how to introduce myself to new people.
I have not shared openly about my divorce, because it's difficult to know how to share without saying things others don't need to know. No one wants to be judged, and I bet every divorced person feels the need to defend their decision. Ultimately, I need to remind myself that you don't need to know details in order to love and support me or benefit from the sharing of my feelings or the lessons I've learned. A friend of mine, who is a fellow ToastMaster and has heard me speak in small settings, encouraged me to be more open about my situation. Divorce is never a pleasant situation, and everyone involved is wounded, disappointed, and has a choice to get bitter or get better.
I know there are many women, and men, reading this who may also be divorced and who know first hand how difficult it can be to share, receive support, and find healing. Few get married with the idea that one day they will be divorced. We all want to be loved unconditionally and tenderly for who we are and have the chance to share that love unconditionally with another.
On the other side of divorce, we are all faced with a choice. Do we look for instant "security" taking our mistakes and wounds into the next relationship, swear off all intimacy and shut down our heart, or do we seek wisdom to learn better communication and healthier boundaries? Do we become the person we know we could be, the best version of ourselves, discovering God's purpose for our lives and lean into healing?
I have not shared openly about my divorce, because it's difficult to know how to share without saying things others don't need to know. No one wants to be judged, and I bet every divorced person feels the need to defend their decision. Ultimately, I need to remind myself that you don't need to know details in order to love and support me or benefit from the sharing of my feelings or the lessons I've learned. A friend of mine, who is a fellow ToastMaster and has heard me speak in small settings, encouraged me to be more open about my situation. Divorce is never a pleasant situation, and everyone involved is wounded, disappointed, and has a choice to get bitter or get better.
I know there are many women, and men, reading this who may also be divorced and who know first hand how difficult it can be to share, receive support, and find healing. Few get married with the idea that one day they will be divorced. We all want to be loved unconditionally and tenderly for who we are and have the chance to share that love unconditionally with another.
On the other side of divorce, we are all faced with a choice. Do we look for instant "security" taking our mistakes and wounds into the next relationship, swear off all intimacy and shut down our heart, or do we seek wisdom to learn better communication and healthier boundaries? Do we become the person we know we could be, the best version of ourselves, discovering God's purpose for our lives and lean into healing?
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Regardless of what has happened in our lives to bring disappointment, hurt or loneliness, we can begin again, allowing God to show us the purpose for our lives. We can learn to be vulnerable again and share our journey with others.
A passion in my heart is to empower women to live a vibrant, joyful life. I want to bring unexpected joy to others by practicing random acts of kindness. I want to be able to lift another's load, to give hope and encouragement. I believe that sharing the lessons I have learned, and continue to learn, can be a blessing to others, and so I share through this blog, have started a divorced support group, and have become a life & relationship coach. If you know someone who is struggling, feeling unlovable, feeling helpless or weary and needs a compassionate third party to listen, offer suggestions, give perspective and instill hope, please share my website (www.empoweredforjoy.weebly.com).
A passion in my heart is to empower women to live a vibrant, joyful life. I want to bring unexpected joy to others by practicing random acts of kindness. I want to be able to lift another's load, to give hope and encouragement. I believe that sharing the lessons I have learned, and continue to learn, can be a blessing to others, and so I share through this blog, have started a divorced support group, and have become a life & relationship coach. If you know someone who is struggling, feeling unlovable, feeling helpless or weary and needs a compassionate third party to listen, offer suggestions, give perspective and instill hope, please share my website (www.empoweredforjoy.weebly.com).
Reaching out in the midst of our pain, or in spite of our pain, can be a powerful testimony and give life and hope to others. In this time of new beginnings and resurrection, may we each find the courage to rise from the deaths and hurts we experience to seek healing and new hope, and to bring forth blossoms of blessings for others. After all, as St. Francis reminds us, "it is in giving that we receive".
May you be empowered for joy!
May you be empowered for joy!
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